Dear Mr. Snow
I am applying for the position of White House Press secretary. I’m 40 years old, not very photogenic, though I am in shape (round is a shape, right?). I have no journalistic experience other than this fine blog. I would maintain control of the briefing room thru the liberal use of Glock® products.
I would have a “theme day” press conferences once a month. Sharia day sounds like a good start. We would have all the female correspondents sit in the back half of the room, behind a curtain, and not take questions from them. If Helen Thomas complains, I’ll have the guards drag her to the front and have her beheaded, to prove women shouldn’t talk to men that way.
I would create front row seating in the briefing room for the media that matter: LGF, The Rott, Matt Drudge and My Blog. Forget DailyKos and HuffPo they will do nothing but complain and their readers talk about how dead they want the Boss.
In keeping with my “new media” approach, I would have all daily briefings available for pod cast and have a monthly net only “people” conference where US citizens can ask the President questions.
I hope you would consider my application with great thought.
The View From Out Here